Was going through a book and decided to share some of the stuff I read. The book is awesome btw! Its called Reliance of the Traveller http://www.amazon.co...c/dp/0915957728
Although we all know we shouldn't slander someone, backbite, etc, some of the ahadith in the book are quite an eye-opener. A bit of a long read, but well worth it.
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or remain silent.” (Bukhari)
“O Messenger of Allah, which of the Muslims is best?” And he (SAW) said, “He who the Muslims are safe from his tongue and his hands.” (Bukhari)
“A servant unthinkingly says something pleasing to Allah Most High for which Allah raises him whole degrees. And aservant unthinkingly says something detested by Allah Most High, for which he plunges into hell.” (Bukhari)
SLANDER
Slander (gheebah) means to mention anything concerning a person that he would dislike, whether about his body, religion,everyday life, self, disposition, property, son, father, wife, servant, turban,garment, gait, movements, smiling, dissoluteness, frowning, cheerfulness, oranything else connected with him.
Mention means by word, writing, sign, or indicating him with ones eye,hand, head, and so forth.
Body refers to saying such things as that someone is blind, lame, blearyeyed, bald, short, tall, dark, or pale.
Religion includes saying that he is corrupt, a thief, cannot be trusted, isa tyrant, does not care about the prayer, does not watch to avoid filth, doesnot honour his father, does not spend Zakat on what it should be spent on, ordoes not avoid slandering others.
Everydaylife includes saying that his manners are poor, hedoes not care about others, does not think he owes anyone anything, that hetalks, eats, or sleeps too much, or sleeps or sits when he should not.
Father refers to saying such things as that his father is corrupt, or ofcertain lineage.
Disposition includes saying that he has bad character, arrogant, a showoff,overhasty, domineering, incapable, fainthearted, irresponsible, gloomy,dissolute, and so forth.
Clothing means saying such things as that his sleeves are too loose, hisgarment hangs too low, is dirty, or the like. Other remarks can be judged bythe above examples. The determining factor is mentioning about a person what hewould not like.
Talebearing
Talebearing (namima) consists of quotingsomeone’s words to another in a way that worsens relations between them.
“The talebearer will not enter Paradise.”(Bukhari, Muslim)
The Prophet (SAW) asked, “Do you know whatslander is?” They answered, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He (SAW) said,“It is to mention of your brother that which he would dislike.” Someone asked,“What if he is as I say?” And he (SAW) replied, “If he is as you say, you haveslandered him, and if not, you have calumniated him.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
“The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim.He does no betray him, lie to him, or hang back from coming to his aid. All ofthe Muslim is inviolable to his fellow Muslim; his reputation, his property,his blood. Taqwa is here (pointing to his heart.) It is sufficiently wicked forsomeone to belittle his fellow Muslim.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Mimicking
Anything by which one conveys a Muslim’s(or non-Muslim’s) shortcomings to another is slander, and unlawful. It includesdoing imitations, such as by walking with a limp, with a stoop, or similar posture, intending to mimic the person with such a deficiency. Anything of this sort is unquestionably unlawful.
Slander by allusion and innuendo
When the person being spoken to understandwhom one is referring to, it is slander and unlawful to say, for example, “Acertain person did such and such.” Or “A certain scholar,” “someone withpretensions to knowledge,” “a certain mufti,” “a certain person regarded asgood,” “someone who claims to be ascetic,” “one of those who passed by ustoday,” or “one of the people we saw.” This includes the slander of some wouldbe scholars and devotees, who make slanderous innuendos that are as clearlyunderstood as if they were plainly stated. When one of them is asked forexample how so and so is, he replies “May Allah improve us,” “May Allah forgiveus”, “may Allah improve him”, “we ask Allah’s forbearance”, “Praise be to Allahwho has not afflicted us with visiting oppressors”, “ we take refuge in Allahfrom evil”, “may Allah forgive us for lack of modesty”, “ may Allah relenttowards us”, and the like, from which the listener understands the person’sshortcomings. All of this is slander and is unlawful, just as when oneself, “soand so is afflicted with what we all are”, or “there is no way he can manage this”,or “we all do it.”
The criterion for slander is that one givesthe person being addressed to understand another’s faults.
Listening to slander
Just as slander is unlawful for the one whosays it, it is also unlawful for the person hearing it to listen and acquiesceto. it is obligatory whenever one hears someone begin to slander another totell him to stop if this does not entail manifest harm to one. If it does, thenone is obliged to condemn it in ones heart and to leave the company if able.When the person who hears it is able to condemn it in words or change thesubject, then he must. It is a sin for him not to. But if the hearer tells the slanderer to be silent while desiring him in his heart to continue, this, as Ghazali notes, hypocrisy that does not lift the sin from him, for one mustdislike it in one’s heart.
When one is forced to remain at a gatheringwhere there is slander and one is unable to condemn it, or ones condemnationgoes unheeded and one can not leave, it is nevertheless unlawful to listen orpay attention to. What one should do is invoke Allah (zikr) with the tongue andheart, or heart alone, or think about something else to distract one fromlistening to it. When this is done, whatever one hears under such circumstancesdoes not harm one as long as one does not listen to or heed the conversation.And if afterwards one is able to leave the assembly and the people are persisting in slander and the like, then one must leave. Allah Most High says,“When you see those engaged in idle discussion about Our signs, keep apart fromthem until they speak of other things. And if Shaitaan makes you forget, thendo not sit with wrongdoing people after being reminded.” (6:68)
Slandering another in one’s heart
Entertaining bad thoughts about others(su’al-zann) is as unlawful as expressing them. Just as it is unlawful to tellanother of the failings of a person, so too it is unlawful to speak to oneself of them and think badly of him.
“Beware of suspicions, for they are the most lying of words.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
There are many Ahadith which say the same,and they refer to an established conviction or judgment in the heart thatanother is bad. As for passing thoughts and fancies that do not last, when theperson having them does not persist in them, scholars concur that they areexcusable, since their occurrence is involuntary and there is no way to avoidthem.
“For those of my Ummah, Allah overlooks the thoughts that come to mine as long as they are not uttered or acted upon.”(Muslim)
Scholars say this refers to passing thoughts that do abide, whether of slander, kufr, or something else. Wheneverone has a passing thought of slander, one is obliged to reject it. Ghazali says“a bad thought about someone that occurs in one’s heart is a notion suggestedby Shaitaan, and one should dismiss it, for Shaitaan is the most corrupt of thecorrupt.” Shaitaan might enter the heart at the slightest impression of others mistake, suggesting that one only noticed it because of one’s superior intelligence and discernment, and that “the believer sees with the light ofAllah.” If a reliable witness informs one of something bad about another, one should neither believe it nor disbelieve it, in order to avoid thinking badlyof either of them. And whenever one has a bad thought about a Muslim, oneshould increase one’s concern and respect for him as this will madden Shaitaanand put him off and he will not suggest the like of it to one again for fearthat one will occupy oneself with prayer for the person. Ghazali said “if onelearns of a Muslim’s mistake by undeniable proof, one should advice him aboutit in private and not let Shaitaan delude one into slandering him. And whenadmonishing him, one should not gloat over his shortcoming and the fact that heis regarding one with respect while one is regarding him with disdain, butone’s intention should rather be to help him disengage from the act ofdisobedience over which one is as sad as if one had committed it oneself. One should be happier if he desists from it without being admonished than if hedesists because of ones admonishment.”
Permissible slander
It is sometimes permissible for a lawfulpurpose, and maybe for one of six reasons:
- Redressing grievances – someone wronged may seek redress from the Islamic ruler, judge, or others with the authority or power to help one against the person who has wronged one. One may say “so and so has wronged me,” “done such and such,” “took such and such of mine” and similar remarks.
- Eliminating wrongdoing – seeking aid in righting a wrong or correcting a wrongdoer, such as by saying to someone expected to be able to set things right, “so and so is doing such and such, so warn him not to continue.” The intention in such a case must be to take the measures necessary to eliminate the wrong, for if this is not one’s purpose, it is unlawful.
- Asking for a legal opinion – saying to the mufti, “My father/brother/so and so has wronged me by doing such and such. May he do so or not?” It is permissible to identify a particular person as is attested to by the hadith in which Hind said, “O Messenger of Allah (SAW), Abu Sufyan is a stingy man…”
- Warning Muslims of evil – when a person seeks one’s advice about marrying into a certain family, entering into a partnership with someone, depositing something for safekeeping with him, accepting such a deposit or some other transaction with him, it is obligatory for one to tell the person asking what one knows about the other by way of advising him. If one can accomplish this by merely saying, “Dealing with him is of no advantage to him” “Marrying into the family is not in your interests” “Do not do it” and similar expressions, then one may not elaborate on the individual’s shortcomings. But if it cannot be accomplished without explicitly mentioning the individual, one may do so.
And when thereis someone in a position of responsibility who is not doing the job as itshould be done, because of being unfit for it, corrupt, inattentive, or thelike, one must mention this to the person with authority over him.
- Someone unconcerned with concealing their disobedience.
- Identification by a nickname.
TALEBEARING
It consists of revealing anything whosedisclosure is resented, whether resented by the person who originally said it,the person to whom it is disclosed, or by a third party. It makes no differencewhether the disclosure is in word, writing, a sign, nodding, or other; whetherit concerns word or deed; or whether it concerns something bad or otherwise. Itlies in divulging a secret, in revealing something confidential whosedisclosure is resented. A person should not speak of anything he notices aboutpeople besides that which benefits a Muslim to relate or prevents disobedience.Anyone approached with a story, who is told, so and so says such and such aboutyou must do six things:
- Disbelieve it, for talebearers are corrupt, and their information unacceptable.
- Tell the talebearer to stop, admonish him about and condemn the shamefulness of what he has done.
- Hate him for the sake of Allah for he is detestable in Allah’s sight, and hating for the sake of Allah is obligatory.
- Not think badly of the person whom the words are supposedly from for Allah says “Shun much of surmise” (49:12)
- Not let what has been said prompt him to spy or investigate whether it is true.
- And not to do himself what he has forbidden the talebearer to do, by relating it to others.
SAYING “THE PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO RUIN.”
“When a man says ‘the people have gone toruin’ he is the most ruined of all.” (Muslim)
Khattabi says the hadith means that aperson who continually finds fault with people and mentions their failings isthe most ruined of all i.e he becomes worse than they are because of the sin hecommits in disparaging and attacking them, which may also to conceitedness andseeing himself as better than they.
INFORMING ON ANOTHER
“Let none of my companions inform me ofanything another of them has said for I wish to come out to you withoutdisquiet in my heart.” (Tirmidhi)
RIDICULE AND SARCASM
Ridicule entails showing disdain, sarcasm, orcontempt for another in a way that causes laughter, whether by mimickinganother’s words or actions, a gesture, or by allusion. It is unlawful. Allahsays “Those who demean believers who voluntarily give charity – ridiculingthose who find nothing to give but their own effort – it is Allah who isridiculing them, and they shall suffer a painful torment.” (9:79)
“A gate in Paradise will open to one ofthose who mock people and a cry will be heard, ‘come here, come here,’ and hewill come forward in concern and anxiety, but when he reaches it, it will closein front of him. And this will happen again and again, until the gate will openand the cry ‘come here, come here’ will be heard as before, but he will notapproach because he knows it will only close in front of him.” (Ibn Abi Dunya)
Ridicule is only unlawful when it hurtsothers feelings. As for someone who purposely makes himself a laughingstock,perhaps such a person enjoys it, and jokes about him are considered merehumour. What is unlawful is the sarcasm that offends the person ridiculedbecause of the insult and disdain involved, such as by laughing at his way ofspeaking, what he does, how he looks, or his physique because of a defecttherein. To laugh at any of these is to commit ridicule that is unlawful.
SEARCHING OUT A PERSON’S FAULTS
“Do not spy.” (49:12)
“If you search for people’s shameful points, you corrupt them…” (Abu Dawud)
“O you who have entered Islam with your tongues but whose hearts faith has not entered: do not slander people, and donot ferret out people’s shameful points. Whoever searches out the shamefulpoints of his brother, Allah will search out his own shameful points, and ifAllah searches out a person’s shameful points, be sure that He will disgrace him even if he should remain in the middle of his house.” (Abu Dawud)
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